I poured myself a glass of wine and sat in the half light, thinking ofHarry: how his mouth felt on mine and how he felt when he was in mymouth. Certainly there were conflicting feelings but strangely, as longas I was Carolyn, I felt being with a man was entirely natural.I turned off the light and clicked on the TV. As I curled up on thecouch as I finally took off my shoes, I watched an old romantic comedyand fantasized about playing the female lead.When I awoke the next morning, still on the couch, I felt the sensuousfeel of my pantyhose and reveled in my newfound womanhood. I sat up, putmy heels back on and went into the kitchen. I made some coffee andcalled Suzy.We talked for over an as I recounted the events of the night before.When I told her about Harry's offer to manage his club as Carolyn Suzywas quiet for a moment. "You've really gotten into this haven't you?" she asked. "I can't helpbut notice you've been speaking in your Carolyn voice complete withaccent."I explained. But no man canpossibly measure up when a woman desires another woman, can he? He's out of the running. And it's just as well. No contest, nodefeat."She looked at me, knowing I couldn't deny it. "No eroticexcitement. No masturbation."I still tried to control myself, but my breathing was constricted. How could Cassie ever respect me now? I was a self-confessedfantasy cumsucking, cocksucking wimp. A sick deviant.She pretended not to notice. Instead, she leaned over to kiss meagain on the lips. "Thank you, sweetheart, for your honesty," shesaid. "I know this wasn't easy. You're so very precious to me! I knew all this, or anyhow I guessed it, but I wanted you to knowI knew so you'd never deny it to me or yourself, and never feelashamed of it. To enjoy it! To imagine me in the arms of othermen as often as you like, to play with the idea as you play withyour penis, and learn to love it! Goodnight, sweetheart. I dolove you, I do! Don't worry. No matter what, you won't ever.
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